“I am”. The two words that are yours and yours alone. The two words that no one else can say for you. The two words that have the power to change your life forever.

Have you ever wondered who’s taught you these words? Where have you heard them for the first time? Who was using these words? Did they have a positive or a negative connotation? Were they used in a loving and caring way or were they full of criticism, frustration and complaints? Were they words that gave you wings and the freedom to paint your own canvas or did they restrict you and immobilize you?

As you’re reading these lines you may be thinking, “I was a little girl then.” And today, as an adult, how do you use these words? Do you use them to embrace, celebrate and advance yourself or to constantly argue and face yourself as the enemy that needs to be defeated? When you look yourself in the mirror and say “I am” do you feel joy and pride or are you ashamed and look for imperfections?

And when you do say “I am” what exactly do you mean? Are you referring to the various roles you have? For example, “I am a doctor, a lawyer, a housewife, a scientist, a mom, a partner…”? Are you perhaps referring to the qualities you have as a human being? For example, “I am bold, strong, caring, smart, calm, vulnerable, grateful, beautiful, free, balanced, complete, smiling, honest, worthy, wonderful, creative…”?

Maybe as a child the words “you are” that you were told included more criticism and shame than joy and love. Maybe in your family “what you will become” when you grow up was emphasized more than “who you will become” as a personality. Maybe they urged you to become someone you did not want to be or take a role that did not suit you. Today, however, you are an adult, a woman and as such you define who you are. You alone can define your identity, can’t you?