{"id":1092,"date":"2022-06-24T14:49:50","date_gmt":"2022-06-24T11:49:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/?p=1092"},"modified":"2022-06-24T14:49:50","modified_gmt":"2022-06-24T11:49:50","slug":"my-blog-how-to-break-the-pattern-when-dealing-with-anger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/my-blog-how-to-break-the-pattern-when-dealing-with-anger\/","title":{"rendered":"How to break the pattern when dealing with anger."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Some of my clients recently have been having <span style=\"color: #96c93e;\">difficulty in their communication<\/span> with their partner. There is a lot of conflict about issues most of us have to deal with \u2013 kids\u2019 summer activities, vacation place and time, family time, self time. You get the picture. \u00a0There\u2019s a lot of anger followed by voice raising, name calling and, as expected, a lot of <span style=\"color: #96c93e;\">antagonism.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>This is a pattern of behavior that needs a minimum of two people to get it going. It can look something like this:<\/p>\n<p>Person A: Once again you planned something without asking me. You always do that.<\/p>\n<p>Person B: But I asked you and you didn\u2019t respond. I had to do it on my own.<\/p>\n<p>Person A (getting angry and raising their voice): You treat me as if I don\u2019t exist; as if I just have to follow. You don\u2019t respect me.<\/p>\n<p>Person B (starting to get upset): Now that\u2019s not fair. You know that\u2019s not the case and it has nothing to do with respect\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Does it sound familiar? I bet it does to a lot of us, myself included. <span style=\"color: #96c93e;\">We all get into this trap at times.<\/span> And instead of clarifying and <span style=\"color: #96c93e;\">expressing our emotions<\/span> we attack the other person by responding to their impolite remarks. The argument escalates, there\u2019s no solution and we find ourselves more angry than before. So what can we do to avoid this kind of situations?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #96c93e;\">We need to break the pattern.<\/span> Why? Because anger can escalate and lead to physical or emotional violence which may put our safety at stake. Because if we respond to anger with anger we may be seen as the aggressor. And because when we respond calmly we set the example for others.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some suggestions to calm the situation.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do your best to respond calmly by using a low tone of voice and a non-threatening body language.<\/li>\n<li>Learn how to manage your emotions so as not to take it personally.<\/li>\n<li>Practice deep breathing.<\/li>\n<li>Take a step back and try to see what the real issue may be. It\u2019s highly possible the other person\u2019s anger has nothing to do with you.<\/li>\n<li>Listen actively and with empathy and acknowledge the other person\u2019s feelings.<\/li>\n<li>Apologize when necessary.<\/li>\n<li>Set your limits. You have every right to leave the \u201cconversation\u201d if you don\u2019t feel safe or if you\u2019re too upset to respond.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Remember, it takes two to tango. It&#8217;s <span style=\"color: #96c93e;\">your choice<\/span> to dance or not.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Some of my clients recently have been having difficulty in their communication with their partner. There is a lot of conflict about issues most of us<span class=\"excerpt-hellip\"> [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1093,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-blog-itsmylife-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1092"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1093"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}