{"id":1066,"date":"2022-03-18T16:51:24","date_gmt":"2022-03-18T14:51:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/?p=1066"},"modified":"2022-03-18T16:54:08","modified_gmt":"2022-03-18T14:54:08","slug":"my-blog-how-to-help-your-child-grow-a-sense-of-security-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/my-blog-how-to-help-your-child-grow-a-sense-of-security-2\/","title":{"rendered":"How to help your child grow a sense of security."},"content":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]With all the challenges we are facing the last couple of years children have an increased need to feel safe and secure. I\u2019m not referring to material safety. In her book \u201cUnderstanding Childrens\u2019 Emotions,\u201d Isabelle Filliozat<\/span> talks about children\u2019s need to have a sense of security.<\/p>\n

How do you cultivate that? Children want and need to trust their parents. In order to feel this trust they need to be certain of their parents\u2019 personal power.<\/span> Unlike what some may believe however, being a strong parent has absolutely nothing to do with being dominating. On the contrary, strong is the parent who expresses their feelings and gives space to their child to do the same.<\/span> I bet that\u2019s a definition of the word \u201cstrong\u201d you hadn\u2019t thought of.<\/p>\n

Whether pleasant or not, our emotions have names and it\u2019s significant to recognize them.<\/span> By doing so we accept ourselves just as we are. That\u2019s how we start to trust ourselves and how we become trustworthy.<\/p>\n

When we acknowledge our emotions, when we are able to name them and learn to tolerate them without criticism or fear we strengthen our personality. We also understand that our emotions alone cannot destroy a relationship or a person and that makes us feel more secure.<\/span><\/p>\n

More than often though we adults tend to hide our emotions and don\u2019t talk about them. As a result, without realizing it, that\u2019s exactly what we teach our children to do. And when our children misbehave we take it personally and punish them.<\/span><\/p>\n

What I would recommend to do instead is to take a step back and think what may be the reasons for that behavior. They may be fighting about a toy or screaming about ice cream but the question is what lies behind the surface. What may be the possible emotions they are suppressing \u2013 unknowingly sometimes \u2013 and why?<\/span><\/p>\n

We adults need to learn to decode the language children use<\/span> – something \u201cgrownups\u201d forget easily \u2013 and allow them to feel what they feel. \u201cI understand you\u201d<\/span> is a very useful phrase. For example, \u201cI understand you\u2019re angry but I love you the same.\u201d This is how we can help them to avoid feeling guilty and to start calming down. Knowing it\u2019s ok to express their righteous anger allows them to have a sense of their limits and at the same time helps to strengthen their identity.<\/p>\n

Expressing their feelings, even by crying, is a therapeutic process. We must allow them to \u201ctalk\u201d and give them the space to live emotionally. Because the contrary, suppressing their emotions, may alter their personality. And this doesn\u2019t make us strong parents.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]With all the challenges we are facing the last couple of years children have an increased need to feel safe and secure. I\u2019m not referring to [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1067,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-my-blog-itsmylife-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1066","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1066"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1066\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1067"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1066"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1066"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itsmylife.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1066"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}